POSH’S BIKER GANG, DIOUF’S WIFE GIVES BIRTH

Posted on August 26, 2016 in Uncategorized

[Posh, Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana in Milan looking like they're about to whoop somebody's ass.]

[Posh, Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana in Milan looking like they’re about to whoop somebody’s ass.]

They look like a biker gang with all that black and leather. Definitely wouldn’t want to run into these three in a dark alley.

This evening:

Robbie Keane has things to say about how useless he’s been to Liverpool so far (you know, aside from Sunday). Oh, yes, and he’s not leaving …or so he says.

Scolari has things to say about John Terry’s sending off on Monday night. Including this morsel: ‘He’s a very good captain, he accepts the decision from the referee.’ Don’t you just love how accepting the ref’s decision — i.e. not making a big scene of yourself — is no longer expected but something that a player needs to be congratulated for?

So, Cesc’s out. Now what? Wenger:’It is more likely we will buy but we also have internal solutions and we are not desperate. We will miss Cesc, of course, but how much is difficult to say.’ How about this time Arsenal try to buy someone who isn’t a) a pre-teen OR b) calcium deficient. So very tired of injuries.

El-Hadji Diouf’s wife Val just gave birth to a baby girl, Keyla. He should be back for Sunderland’s Boxing Day match against Blackburn.

Anyone else find Everton’s blue Santa Claus slightly wrong?

Last but not least: Not sure about ya’ll but in the mood for a little Bendtner thigh.

Labels: luiz felipe scolari, victoria beckham…

GREAT, JUST GREAT… CESC OUT FOR THREE MONTHS

Posted on August 26, 2016 in Uncategorized

Medial ligament damage, might need surgery, won’t play again until the end of March.

…And thank you Xabi Alonso.

Not related — bonus footage from Liverpool/Arsenal: Agger trying to pull Adebayor’s shorts off. He didn’t think anyone would notice.

…

ALEX IN DUMB LEGGINGS, ITALIAN CRAZY-TALK, PIGEONS DYING AND A SCANDALOUSLY HAIRY CRISTIANO

Posted on August 26, 2016 in Uncategorized

Latex leggings are stupid.

Vogue or some other hoity-toity publication would probably have it that latex leggings are the best thing to hit the shops since one of Michelle Obama’s J. Crew cardigans but that’s as big of a load of BS as there ever has been.

It’s actually like this: Whoever invented latex leggings is either the biggest dumb-ass ever or the smartest crook ever because she/he’s managed to convince women to put on these shiny, clingy, not-meant-to-be-worn-as-pants-but-still-are pieces of crap that many of us now think look pretty cool but, 5 to 10 years down the line, will all agree look completely moronic and tacky.

With that said, nice hair, Alex.

[EDIT: Cheryl too has been inflicted.]

Bits and pieces du jour:

A few days old but will get you every time: The president of Napoli thinks English ladies don’t wash their coochies. How do things like this even come up in any sort of professional convo? Does anyone remember Capello’s psycho ankle-sock hateration last December? Italian coaches are just freaking loopy. Where the hell does this crap even come from?

Another Italian bringing the crazy-talk: ‘I must admit I have a dressing room curiosity over Beckham. […] I want to see if he is equipped as he is in the Armani underwear adverts.’ Yeah, so do we. But we don’t go around telling everyone about it. Instead, we blog about it in relative anonymity like crazy normal people. Sure, that doesn’t make us any more sane than you are, and, yeah, it definitely leaves us in no place to judge but life isn’t always fair, Marco. That’s probably why you drive a Lambo and we take the bus.

Sidney Govou was caught driving drunk after a match. Blind drunk. Five times over the legal limit drunk.

Real Madrid is a ‘mob’. And the Ronaldo-Real story will not die. Ever. It won’t die no matter what you say or do. You can’t hide, it will find you. It will be e-mailed to you. It will be told to you. A different version of it will drop into your newsreader every other day. Friends of yours who know nothing about soccer will say to you: ‘Yeah, he plays in Spain, right?’ THIS STORY IS NEVER GOING AWAY. The sooner we all accept the fact, the sooner we will start not wanting to chuck our laptops out the window every time you hear about it… over and over again.

Hair Watch: Off The Post with a match-the-footballer-to-the-hair sort of quizzie complete with Lalas, Rio and even a bit of Torres. In other hair news, Elano is the new De Rosario and it ain’t pretty at all.

Pretty sure this story is not supposed to be as funny as it is: some Argentine defender killed a pigeon when the ball he kicked struck it. ‘I kicked the ball and, poor pigeon. […] Now I will be remembered as the pigeon killer.’ Damn, straight, you will be. PETA is about the hop on this case.

Last but not least: Was that actual hair on Xtina’s pretty chest the other night?! Sacrilege! Our world is over.…