THIS IS EXTRA TIME

Everyone's favourite (well, except for you, Serioux - you just need to put the haterade down) Englishman/underwear model has been restored to his rightful place.

Rightful? Yes, of course it's rightful.

Becks wants to keep on keeping on after all:

"People will always question whether I can still play at this level but I want to carry on. I am not ready to stop playing for my country"

Say what you want about Beckham, but after his stepping down (or forcing out - who knows) from the England captaincy it's been an awkward position to fill ever since. Gigantor Teeth McClaren tried to do it -- even venturing to leave him off the side in some sort of bizarre 'bitches don't know me!' move -- and the results were slightly embarrassing (read: hilarious) for the English.




Much is now being made about how 'political' the decision is and how Capello's arm was perhaps twisted into into picking The Sex to captain the side in the Caribbean. If the English happen to lose in Trinidad (gasp!) fingers, in ye old English tradition of course, will surely start being pointed.

Even though having Becks lead the English out against T&T only seems the logical thing to do, for the sake of kicking up a bit of mind dust (that's what bored footie minds do after all) let's say John Terry and the other lads who played the CL final were going to be in T&T this weekend: Would you still have Becks as captain instead?


source: Capello hands England captaincy back to Beckham

Labels: david beckham, england

Filing this one next to this.

Labels: fernando torres, one for the vault, sergio ramos

Shame that other guy had to go and ruin the video. Who invited him?

Labels: johann djourou, philippe senderos, switzerland, video

Even though we're now caught in that limbo of extreme boredom that occurs between the off season and Euro starting up (hurry up!) Torres's hair continues to annoy the heck out of everybody.

How does he do it?

It's been looking oddly ginger-ish as well which doesn't appear to be the hottest look for him. And he's also reverted back to doing the ol' flippy-uppy thing with the longish bits.




The noggin's not looking much better in training either.




TIET's overall verdict on Nando staunchly remains: Hells no, take it back wherever it came from.

Moving on now to hair disasters that will not be turning up for Euro: Djibril Cisse. He's been cut from the Frenchie squad earlier this week. Shame.

Regardless, of Domenech's attempt to crush our spirits, it'll be impossible for him to take away our cherished memories of the bright-haired baller. For example, that one of Brokeleg Cisse limping (gracefully limping, thank you) across the stage, pimp-cane in one hand, to collect his losers' medal at WC '06. T'was one of the best moments of the tourney and he's gotten no credit for it.

Encouraging news has popped up though. A made up source tells us that Cisse is now petitioning the FFF for re-inclusion into the Frenchies' Euro squad.

Djib's citing discrimination as grounds for his wrongful dissing and spoke to TIET exclusively on the matter last night: 'I don't know what ees going on in ees [Domenech] 'ed. Pires was left off of the squad last time for ees horoscope sign and you know, I deedent really care then but now Sagna et moi are out for our 'air? Players must stand up for themselves!"

Here, here! Stand up and be counted Frenchies with eye-searingly disgraceful hair!

Cisse may constantly be cracking his legs in half but downtime during injuries are always spent wisely. His competing in the Beard and Moustache Championships has enriched him both as a footballer and as a person!



And what about Sagna? His cracked braids would've helped distract strikers!




What is wrong with you people?


TIET TMI du Jour: Since we're on the topic of Frenchies who will not be turning up for Euro let's take this moment to also chuckle about the Flamini being left off the roster, shall we? Karma's no fun, is it Flams? Clichy being left off the team is not a laughing matter, however.

TIET TMI du Jour II: Other not-funny-at-all funny things: Google directing people to our page when they chuck 'Philippe Senderos jokes' into Google. Sorry to disappoint you, random Googler, but we happen to take Philippe very seriously here, thanks.

Labels: djibril cisse, fernando torres, frenchies, hurry up and get here euro, jens lehmann, made up shite

This one feels like it's been brewing for centuries. Marseille's Samir Nasri's supposed to be going to Arsenal but when the heck is ink going to starting hitting the page, already?

Nasri's agent, Jean-Pierre Bernès:

"Arsenal's offer has caught his interest from a sporting point of view. In his career plan, it is something very interesting for him. But he will be leaving Marseille. It will be done in the coming days."

Okay, next couple of days it is. We shall be twiddling our thumbs. Do hurry up, young French one, you're taking far too long.

TIET TMI du Jour: Samir enjoys a bit of PDA.



That's tennis player, Tatiana Golovin. How likely is it that he'll continue with this reckless hobby when he moves to London this summer? By then, of course, he'll have ditched this young woman who appears to be doing something with her life that does not involve taking off her clothes or making an ass of yourself on the Weakest link (foolish!) and replaced her with an ex-Big Brother contestant.


source: Gunners' move for Nasri fails to appease Van Persie

Labels: frenchies, i smell a transfer, samir nasri, tee-hee arse-nal

That'll get your morning started.

Labels: man-flesh du jour, owen hargreaves

John Terry, England captain and self-professed 'man for big games' (except that one), successfully managed to slice through enormous amounts of strife and adversity last night at Wembley.

Not only did he slice through the strife, managing not to turn up a weepy mess to the match and all, JT headed Beckham's FK into the back of the Yanks' net, scoring one for ol' Blighty and filling our hearts with butterflies, glitter and Caramilk bars along the way. In fact, we'll still be dusting glitter off ourselves as this post goes up.

Becks acknowledged hero-man Terry last night:

"We’re not surprised by JT’s performance tonight. He does it every time he wears the England shirt ... Tonight we all saw the man and the player he is. He’s one of the strongest characters I’ve seen in football."

A strong character indeed, Becks. Peeling yourself from the depths of misery to go on to captain England - England for heaven's sake! - to victory over a pretty-crap-yet-totally-hot Yank side is surely not a job for the fainted hearted 'baller.




Thanks again to everyone who joined the England/USA live-blog yesterday. Highlight of the evening: Landon not showing up. The hateration continues.

Take a mini stroll through a few the day's 'OMGz, JT!' barf-lines, why don't you?:
'Tearific Terry KO's demons' - The Sun
' England v USA: Chelsea's John Terry puts Champions League failure behind him' - The Telegraph
'Terry heads through the tears and tedium to hugs and happiness' - The Guardian
' TERRY'S PAIN RELIEF' - The Daily Star

Labels: england, john terry

Can you blame her for having that grump on her face? Wrapped up in that offensive ball of tulle and all. Looks like she's also got a few hairs out of place as well.
---




source: Posh goes for the Amy Winehouse look...but fails to pull it off

Labels: victoria beckham, WAGs

There shall be no judging of pregnant people here.

Do what you need to do, babe. We'll lock this one safely away for you.


Thanks: Cesc's Lil Bird and Madame Ellison's ill-advised fashion choices.

Labels: candids, one for the vault, rebecca ellison, WAGs

Yes, USA v England at Wembley tonight.

Lucky for you, Ladies... and TIET are here to help you make sense of the madness. You know, in between the moments we're not trying to spot Bocanegra's gorgeous booty in the wideshots.

As for who yours truly is supporting: I'm supporting hotness. Just in general.

What can we expect from this match up people?

Is it about time that the Yanks show England who the real boss of underwhelming and craptacular performances is? Is England finally ready to part with the 'Blame the Manager/the FA/foreigners if We're Crap' title?

Sorry, useless question.

A few better ones for you to mull over: Is it time Baby Bradley grow the hell up already and do a shirtless goal celebration? (Yes.) Is it about time that Jozy Altidore scores a cracker at Wembley? (Yes. He should also punch a weeping John Terry straight after.) Is it time for Bocanegra to try his luck at naked football? (Always.)

And most importantly: Is it about time that Landon Donovan dies? All dramatic like on the pitch and stuff? Perhaps laying the back of his hand on his forehead as he stumbles to his death?

Okay, fine that last bit was a bit cruel. Landy's going for his 100th cap for the Yanks after all - we should try to be nice.

The live-blogging bizarrity shall begin at 12PM PST/3PM EST/8PM BST.

Do join us.

---

Labels: england, live blog, US soccer

Lots of peculiar things are happening at Italy training camp this week.

Sexual assault appears to be one of them.

DayLife via TCC

Labels: antonio cassano, fabio cannavaro, italy, one for the vault

Well not so much smell but see. Gerard's definitely gone.

Will you miss his scraggly facial hair?

It sounds like he won't miss you very much:

"It's a dream to return to Barcelona. When I left I thought it would be very complicated to return."

We hardly knew thee.


source: Man Utd offload Gerard Pique to Barcelona

Labels: gerard pique, i smell a transfer, man poo-nited

A bit of back and fourth is being exchanged between Jose and Avram in the press this week.

Avram starts us off this morning:

"I tell you this: If Chelsea had played at the beginning of the season like they did at the end then they would definitely have been champions of England ahead of Man United ... Over the last three months of the season with me working as manager, we were never called boring Chelsea"

What was it that Jose said about Avram's tenure at Chels this weekend, again? Right: 'Almost is nothing.'

Damn straight, Jose. Tell it like it is, babe. And then swing your scarf over your shoulder diva style before you go on and utter some complete non-sense which will make us think you're totally off it. Go on.

But seriously people, doesn't Jose's 'Almost is nothing' tip sound slightly familiar?

No, it does. Think about it.

Has it popped up yet?

Yes, that Adidas hawking-line: 'Impossible is nothing.'

And isn't Jose signed with Adidas?

It seems we've been led down a very strange road of thoughts here, folks.

Could it be that Jose, master of bizarro mind games, has teamed up with Adidas to permeate our minds in some sneaky sort of freaky-deaky fashion?

Surely, Jose wouldn't do that to us? He loves us.

source: Avram blast at Mourinho

Labels: avram grant, jose mourinho, managers, trash talk

That's Lampsy. And that ain't Elen.

Are we in for repeat of last year's Lampsy-stepping-out drama?


source: Frank Lampard drowns his sorrows with a mystery blonde

Labels: bad behavior, candids, frank lampard

In Newcastle with the GA tour.

That sharp as hell hipbone of hers better be the work of some photoshop sicko because it's scaring us half to death.


source: Leotards and fishnets: Girls Aloud don sexy tights and day-glo lycra for onstage look

Labels: cheryl cole, WAGs

Here's Becks at England training flashing that gazillion dollar LA smile of his.

The Sex along with the other leftover MLSers - including our lovely Maurice Edu and that Frankie Hejduk who we've given up on asking to get a haircut - have now joined up with their respective national sides to begin their training.

Not sure why but until a few days ago we'd mentally scheduled the upcoming USA v England friendly for early June. It's actually happening this Wednesday - May 28th. Forgive us - this blog is written by neither an American biatch nor an English biatch therefore we should simply just be allowed to let such things slip out of the mind every now and again.

Anyhow, we have been checking in with the Yanks over at their cute little blog: The MNT Blog. They've been kind enough to get a few Carlos photos up there for us all to waste time staring at.

Of course, the English have no such thing. Like the rest of you, we rely on unscrupulous and sometimes dishonest media sources for getting our news on them.

Just for curiosity's sake: Who are ya'll supporting in this (absolutely pointless) important friendly? Who do you think will win?

Labels: david beckham, england, US soccer

By now, of course, you've all heard: Chelsea have cleansed themselves of fugface Avram Grant. To be fair, he wasn't actually doing such a bad job. It seems he's simply been unlucky.

Moving on to vastly more imporant news now: Jose Mourinho a.k.a. Sex in an Overcoat might be returning to Chelsea.

Feel free to irrationally cling onto this rumour being shilled by the ever-reliable Sun but we stopped being picky about which club we'd like Jose to return to a very long time ago. Jose himself has denied that he's coming back to the Bridge. There's also a story that's flying around saying that he texted Michael Essien and told him his signing for Inter today.

In other Chels news, JT has written an open letter to the fans asking for forgiveness.

"I am so sorry for missing the penalty and denying you the fans, my team-mates, family and friends the chance to become European champions."

He also felt the need to explain the crying thing, as if his taking the most hilarious PK ever didn't explain the whole situation quite thoroughly.

"I am not ashamed about crying. This is a trophy I have tried so hard year after year to win and it was just an uncontrollable reaction, I wear my heart on my sleeve, everybody knows that."

It's sad. Thoroughly so. He must be listening to a lot of vintage Celine Dion to help him get through the situation.

Before you start busting out your 'He's so vulnerable! I wanna hold him and press his head to my bosom!' comments though, do review this incriminating image from the same 'oh woe is me' match.

Nicked off Who Ate All The Pies:



Does JT need a spanking just as much as he needs the hugsies?

Labels: avram grant, chelsea fabulosity, john terry, jose mourinho

Suppose she does have reason to be cautious though - Becks has a history with the Laker Girls' bum-bums.

BTW: Green jeans? You did not.

Suppose we should mention this as well. And who's that giving him a ginger pat on the back?


source: Don't you dare, David! Posh keeps a close eye on Becks as he tries not to ogle basketball cheerleaders again

Labels: candids, david beckham, one for the vault, victoria beckham, WAGs

MLS Hottie: Devon McTavish. How he's not made his way up here until now, we haven't a clue. And while we're addressing DC - Jaime Moreno, sort out your highlights, please. We're sick and we're tired.

EPL Hottie: Carlos Bocanegra. Happy Birthday, you hunk of sex. This may be the final time you'll ever be chocked up here. Feel the lady-fan wrath, Fulham!

Most Hated: Didier Drogba. Almost earned the most loved title this week for the simple fact that the Vidic bitch-slap was one of the most hilariously pathetic things we've seen in a CL final. We're supposed to like guys who make us laugh, right? Honourable mention: Nico Anelka. Stop complaining.

Most Loved: Philippe Senderos. Before you pin the 'get someone new, already!' tag on us there are actual new developments to be had here. 1. He says he didn't cry after you-know-what and that the press were all lying 2. Juventus are trying to sign him according to obviously-on-crack sources.

Most Annoying WAG: Dani Lloyd. Yes, we would like fries with that. Along with you falling off the face of God's green Earth.

Barf-line: 'Ian's the Wright stuff for Enigma' - The Sun -- classic, 'Wright - right'. And we've seen at least one 'Kewell - cool' line this week as well.

'Round the Neighbourhood: Sniffing the Touchline have just come out with their season review. Great differences between blogs are noticed in moments like these. For example, STT are handing out 'Sniffers'. To be frank, we think that's a bit pointless. Handing out telephone numbers and telling ballers to call us so we can pinch their bottoms in private seems a bit more logical. Anyhow, skip on over to STT's and take a look - they've even called our Freddie a disappointment. The cheek!

Labels: of the moment

From the archives.

Since we're on the Italian tip: Totti and the Roma lads lifted the Coppa Italia this weekend.

And even though we still can't quite commit to Mexes - Hot or not? - that goal sure was a cracker.

Labels: fabio cannavaro, man-flesh du jour, now that's amore

Here's Arsenal loanee (played at Osasuna this season - will be back with the Gunners next season though), Carlos Vela, sat in a pool with Barcelona cutie-pie (not in that way - we simply would like to squish his little cheeks. no, not those cheeks, you perverts.) and Mexico teammate, Gio dos Santos.

We've no clue why and we don't really care. It's lovely and adorable.

Yes, this is what occurs on a Saturday morning when there's absolutely no actual soccer to be had anywhere.

Still bored?

Enjoy some vintage ballers-in-a-pool action of the 'you don't have to ask yourself if this is legal' variety: ex-Fulhamerican (how dare you, Fulham?) Carlos Bocanegra, frolicking in the water with his Yank teammates. They should really do that again, don't you think? And invite us.


TIET TMI du jour: It seems that Carlos is prone to momentarily Nando-esque lapses in hairdo judgment.








TIET TMI du jour II: Yes, we know the Toulon tournament is occurring. Yes, we know that it qualifies as 'actual soccer'. Not watching, sorry. This is the only footage we've seen of the tourney so far. We might break and end up watching out of sheer boredom though, who knows? Ya'll know how wishy-washy we are - check back in a day or so.

Thanks Dona for sending over the link to the Vela pics and thus saving us from full-on Soccer-less Saturday boredom.

Labels: carlos vela, giovani dos santos, soccer-less saturday mornings, we're going to jail

Nike's decided to go ahead and use Lehmann's mad-man reputation to their full advantage with this latest ad.

With good results, we might add. That last frame of Jens's cheeky grin is Angry Keeper perfection - we'll take it.

Other highlights include: A rare Gilberto goal celebration and Nicky Bendtner being adorable.

Labels: angry keepers, jens lehmann, tee-hee arse-nal, video

We were giddier than three year old girls high off pixie sticks once Fulham successfully managed to avoid relegation this season. It was great news because it meant that we'd be seeing our fave Fulhamerican hotties in the EPL for yet another season.

Our decidedly shallow lady-fan celebrations were slightly premature, it now seems - Fulham have let Carlos Bocanegra go. Yes, Bocanegra, the finest specimen Fulham has ever seen and TIET favouritest, has been kicked out on his ass like yesterday's crap-defender garbage.

How dare they? It ain't right.

Who cares if Fulham's defending is questionable? It's not Carlos's fault. How could it ever be? Someone as pretty as our Boca should never, ever be blamed for anything.

The interwebz also tells us that Brian McBride is thinking about leaving Fulham for a switch back to the MLS. Toronto better be buying both of 'em or we're rioting.

Just to slip a teensy bit of good news in with the tremendously bad stuff: Hottie Maurice Edu is joining the US squad in England next week.


Thanks Amanda for the heads up.

Labels: carlos bocanegra, god bless fulhamerica, let the fan-girl tears flow

Gorgeous, pregnant and happy, apparently.

Nothing to see here, people.

source: matrix

Labels: candids, louise redknapp, WAGs

Is everyone okay now? Chelsea peeps? Manc lovers?

No? Too bad. A whole day should have given you more than enough time to get over your celebratory hangovers, dry off from crying yourselves into a puddle or realize how fat all the consolation chocolate has made you. It's about time we get down to sorting out the great mystery at hand: Why did Didi slap Vidic?

It's fair to say that Didier's moronic 'baller moment was the most pivotal one of Wednesday's final. Drogba was meant to take the 5th peanlty - the one that JT ended up cocking up for 'em - and the 'psychological blow' ('Mental Skills!' - damn you, Lucas!) to the other Chelsea divos must have been phenomenal. But does anyone know why Didi really did it?

What made Didier snap?

Was it his headband? No, really - did it snap? Was it on too tight? Did he begin to fret that his bald spot may subsequently not be fully covered by the stringy goopy mess top his head? Did he want off to sort it out?

Just as a Chels/Man U scuffle bubbled in extra time, did the Drogz glance to the sidelines and catch a whiff of Avram's fugface? Did the fugstrosity of Avram's perma-pissed expression simply push our Didi over the edge? Emotionless and eye-bagged, did Avram's face do Didier's glorious little head in?

TIET TMI du jour: And it's always in extra time, isn't it? Can't you testosterone filled man-children hack it for a few more minutes? They are paying you zillions, you know. The least you could do is not punch someone.



Perhaps a soft, reminiscent 'Jose...Jose. You shall be mine once more in time' escaped Didi's lips, followed up with a great, huge fangirl sigh.

Vidic, being just within earshot, may have heard what Didi said.

'What the?' Vida would have seethed, 'You shall be mine once more in time?!'

'Listen, weirdo, if you want me so bad, you'll have to wait till after the match, okay?'

Didi: 'GASP! Are you calling me gay?!'

SLAP.

At least Cashley would've been used to the gay jokes, Vida. Not cool.

Didier, having been quite offended by the implication - less so by the red card; he was actually aching for a sit down - needed a bit of caressing. Expert Essien took to calming him down.

'They've only ever had wrinkly old Fergie, Didi, babe. They simply don't understand our plight. It's not worth it.'


NOTE: A massive thanks to everyone who joined the TIET/Ladies... CL final live-blog on Wednesday. Ya'll made the lack of man-flesh bearable. We'll definitely be running the live-blog again once Euro starts up so if you missed out on the fun earlier this week, you absolutely must not miss the series of Euro live-blogs we're going to be hosting in June.

Labels: chelsea fabulosity, didier drogba, man poo-nited, nemanja vidic, we're like sherlock holmes only hotter

This one of Houston Dynamo's Brian Ching and De Rosario is super old.

Does that make it any less awkward?

Labels: brian ching, dwayne de rosario, houston dynamo, lovers in a dangerous time

Kaka takes stretching very seriously.

We take leering very seriously. A brilliant pairing, indeed.

Labels: kaka, man-flesh du jour

Where do we even start? Jeans, cardie, hair.

No, no, no.


source: wenn

Labels: candids, carly zucker, joe cole, WAGs

Harry and Sheree out for a walk in Liverpool. Check out the yummy daddy, girls.

Rafa confirmed earlier this month that Harry would definitely be leaving the Reds this summer. Word on the street is that Pompey are now hot on his heels.

We're still hopeful about the Fulham rumours that were swirling round about him back in January. If he just must go somewhere else, Fulham would definitely be the ideal option if you want our opinion on the 'Where could Harry go, be comfortably crap and still collect a decent paycheck?' issue.

Bocanegra, McBride, Volz and Kewell? Could you imagine? That would be one crackling hot side.
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source: xposure

Labels: candids, harry kewell, i smell a transfer, sheree murphy, WAGs

It's time, people.

The Champions League Final.

It's time for Chelsea Fabulosity to hit full throttle. For Didi to bring his most penetrating death-stares, for Lampsy to strike up his pretty 'I can't believe it didn't go in' pouts, for JT to whip out his expert 'break an arm whilst doing so' tackles.

On the other end, it's time for the Mancs to bring their league-wi