Thursday, July 31, 2008

HAIR WATCH: THE LOPSIDED FAUX-HAWK



Much has been made about David Bentley's recent hair woes. From buzzcut to faux-hawk to side-part -- it's been quite a journey.

The next step? This side-part/lopsided faux-hawk thing.

David has just signed for Spurs by the looks of that shirt and the creepy look on Ramos's face. He's been out yammering about a piece of his heart belonging to Tottenham or something. Hm. Remember when David played for Arsenal? So very long ago...

Anyhow, photos of DB's gorgeousness in training -- yes, already! -- here.

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MAN-FLESH DU JOUR: WARMING UP

[Again, you can't expect us not to look.]


This is Fiorentina's first time carrying the day's MDJ. A fine showing, you'll agree?

In other purple-y news: the tug-of-war over Adrian Mutu seems to have settled down. If the rumours are to be believed, Roma have now moved on to Djibril Cisse.

Oh, Djibril. He of a trillion dubious transfer rumours. It never ends.

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LIVERPOOL: DEBUTS IN GREY SHIRTS



A very pleasant reader asked us the other day why we don't have Xabi on often. He's lovely actually, we like the man very much.

Liverpool played Villareal yesterday... in those god awful grey kits of theirs. And holy moly, are they ever baaaad. It seems like the away shirt theme this season, across the top four at least, is 'fug'.

Robbie made his debut. A scoreless match and, er, we didn't spot any hand-holding.

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CHELSEA FABULOSITY: THE BOYS TAKE A SEEMINGLY AIMLESS WALK THROUGH MOSCOW

There is something quite comical about this clip, we're just not sure what it is exactly.

Perhaps it's the pointing at random things -- the fact that we've got some sort of make-believe conversation between JT and that trainer going through our heads? Or, perhaps it's the way the boys look like some sort of uniformed gang about to trample over that nice lady at 0:43.

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OF THE MOMENT: BENDTNER, FRENCHIES AND, WITH ANY LUCK, 'FIT BIRDS' ON SKY

[When was the last time Mexes even played for France?]


MLS Hottie:
Marc Burch. Devon was here only weeks ago.

EPL Hottie: Nicky Bendtner. He's lanky. He's cocky. He's totally not our type.

Most Hated: Gareth Barry drama. Please let it be over. Like, for reals over.

Most Loved: Hmm.. Les Bleus. We're helpless, aren't we? Anyhow, check out Ribery and Abidal's moves! And, dear god, Mexes looks lovely in blue.

Most Annoying WAG: Niki Ghazian. Not a WAG. Not really, at least. Still really annoying.

Barf-line: 'SEX UP FOOTIE...MORE GIRLS AT GAMES...AND NO GARTH' -- Daily Star -- The headline perhaps not as annoying as this gem of a quote found inside: 'Sky need to get a cameraman to scour the crowd for fit birds.' Do you see what Euro has done? All that panning to random ladies during matches...

'Round the Neighbourhood: So, we keep forgetting to mention this but A More Splendid Life ran a month-long series on Canadian soccer in July. Great stuff if you're even slightly curious about the history and culture of the beautiful game up north. Toronto FC isn't the be-all-end-all, you know.

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

MAN-FLESH DU JOUR: SERGIO GETS US OVER THE HUMP



We've all taken a sneak-peak at Sergio's abs at one time or another -- and whether you're a Ramos-lover or not, you'd have to be blind to think they're anything but amazing -- but can we all take a moment and appreciate the man's equally pretty arms?

Leering is serious business, boys and girls. If you're going to do it you may as well be thorough.

Sergio is back in training with Real Madrid, by the way. So are Iker and Ruben. The seemingly endless spree of Spanish fun and nakedness on beaches has sadly come to a close.

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LOVERS IN A DANGEROUS TIME: ROBBIE AND NANDO

[Long lost *fill in the blank*.]


It's been two days.

Two whole days
and not only does Robbie think Nando's 'the best striker in the world' (step aside, Berbatov!) they're, like, totally BFFs now.

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HAIR WATCH: STEPHEN CHOPS IT ALL OFF



Stephen 'Superbum' Ireland has gone completely bald.

Yeah, his hair was looking a little funky last season but this seems a bit drastic.

[via Pies]

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ELEN AND LUNA IN CHELSEA



Elen
spotted outside of her home over the weekend. It's a spooky day in WAG-land when Madame Lamps looks halfway decent.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

OH LOOK, TRANSFERS ARE HAPPENING! ALSO, ROGERS IS GOING TO DIE AND CESC IS BACK WITH THE SQUAD

[Because I've got exactly no time for ones of him wearing shirts. Sorry.]


It's been a hectic start to the week for your favourite blogging lady thus the lack of postage over the past few. A bit of a hit-and-run this evening. Bear with us, please.
---

Cesc is back in training. Photos of him and Kolo being smiley over at the dotcom.

Transfers are happening. Among them, Robbie Keane signing for Liverpool; Diouf (or 'soccer bad boy', if you're The Sun) is shipping off to Sunderland. Our illumanting (read: barely readable) thoughts on recent rumours and done deals over at Ladies....

Via The Beautiful Game comes the most frightening yet accurate headline to skip across our newsreader in an age: 'Your favourite Olympians are going to die'. Someone get Robbie a gas mask and an oxygen tank stat.

Yank-ish news: Sacha Kljestan's doing milk ads [TY: Sarah], Unprofessional Foul did an interview with Greg Lalas, Natasha Kai -- whom we've been girl-crushing on for an age -- is in the latest edition of Rolling Stone [TY: Brianne].

And finally, a set-your-DVR note for our fellow Canuck peeps: CBC's airing a doc about our women's U17 side called 'Girls of Summer' this Thursday at 9PM.

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MAN-FLESH DU JOUR: DECO, AGAIN



And our innocent fascination with Deco continues. He's got a massive tattoo on his back, did you know? We didn't.

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Monday, July 28, 2008

LADIES LOVE THE CRUTCHES: CRISTIANO'S LADY OUT IN THE PAPERS AGAIN

[Still by the pool. Still zillions of half-naked photos to go around.]


One of Cristiano's LA hoochies, Niki Ghazian, is blabbing again. This time she's talking to News of the World. If you haven't checked out this Sunday's raunch-fest help yourself here.

Suppose you can say we called this one, as would have anyone with half a brain -- of course she'd sell her story to NOTW -- but the barf-line they managed to stick onto Ghazian's tell-all ('Ronaldo dived with his boots on') hardly matches the 'Bam'-ing gold of previous weekends.

Most of what Niki had to say doesn't differ much from her interview with The Dirty last week. This particular bit of non-sense did stick out however...

On why the Yanks seem to love Cristiano:
American girls have fallen for him because he is so gorgeous and foreign. They don't care that he is the most famous soccer star in the world. They just see this wealthy man who is exotic.

That second sentence may actually hold a whole lot of truth but does anyone else feel like they've lost some brain cells having read that?

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MAN-FLESH DU JOUR: HE MAKES IT SO EASY

[Jens in Maroon: Y/N?]


We've always been fond of Lehmann's warm-up routines. When he decides to strike a pose like that, he can't expect us not to look.

Maybe its time to resurrect the keepers' thread after all.
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Sunday, July 27, 2008

ONE FOR THE VAULT: '05 KOBE BRYANT CALLED, HE WANTS HIS PANTS BACK

[Wikipedia says Holden is 22. There is no way this child is over 14. No. Way.]


After attempting to wreak their havoc on the NBA, tights are now looking to make inroads into the world of soccer. All together now: NOOOOO!

Stuart Holden and Brad 'Aston Villa' Guzan wore the truly terrifying leggings to reduce swelling during the US Olympic side's long flight to China but if we see just one of these boys pull them on for an actual match, we're officially giving up on soccer and moving on to water polo or something.

[TY: Amanda and, um, the official US YNT Blog...although should we be thanking them for this?]

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Saturday, July 26, 2008

MANSCAPING: FRIEND OR FOE?

[How chummy has Crissie been getting with his wax-strips? Well, take a gander...]


It seems that things tend to go a bit raunchy round our parts once the weekend hits. Do excuse us.

This photo of Cristiano and his extra-low riding shorts in Sardinia has been making its way around the internets for a few weeks now. We're not sure if its been shopped or not but it does give us a chance to bring up a truly slippery topic: manscaping.

While this particular Crissie moment reveals that the shots we've been taking at his all-over body waxing may not be exactly, er, accurate (or at least the hair removal isn't all-over in the literal sense), an intense aversion to body hair is quite prevalent among footballers.


[Z in Miami this winter. No arm hair. No leg hair. --Photo Thievery: Socialite's Life]


Examples: Cesc's arm hair is wont to disappear on occasion. Lampsy's often spotted rocking the smooth underarm look. Antonio Cassano gave us a not-at-all-needed look at his junk once and -- after we recovered -- we noticed ________. And of course, there are those Beckham underwear ads all of which are absolutely hairless.

So, have ya'll got beef with the baller manscaping? When is it crossing the line?

TIET Final Verdict: It's a case-by-case sort of thing on our end. In general though, if a man is more concerned with any part of his grooming routine than his lady is, it's likely to be a turn-off.

[TY: Jeffry @
Nohandsball]

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TORRES BACK IN LIVERPOOL



Nando and his hair have made the journey back to Merseyside. He along with a few other Spaniards were spotted in training yesterday today.
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source: big pictures

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VIDEO: THIS LADY GETS 1000 POINTS

Because anyone who is drunk/moronic hard enough to take on a cop double her size and weight needs to tell us what she's smoking be congratulated.



[via 101 Great Goals]

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Friday, July 25, 2008

MAN-FLESH DU JOUR: DE RO DOES IT FOR THE LADIES

So, the All-Star Game. Did anyone notice how everyone but everyone got shirtless right after the whistle except for Becks (and Blanco... but to be quite honest, that's probably for the best)? De Ro here scored the winner and although his hair has landed him in the Most Hated bit of the OTM a few times, at the end of the day, we wouldn't kick him out of bed. Would you look at those pretty eyelashes?

TIET TMI: Also, how Malvern does this man sound? He sounds like Scarbs. Love it. Not that we generally rep Scar-boring round these parts or anything.







[via TOR]

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STEVIE WEARS FUNNY ROBES, ALEX LOOKS JUST LIKE POSH BUT NOT



Stevie was given an honorary fellowship by Liverpool John Moores University today.

The university's Vice-Chancellor Professor Michael Brown: 'Steven epitomizes the university philosophy of Dream, Plan, Achieve. As a young boy he excelled in the sport he loves and ensured his talent was recognized, looking upon challenges as opportunities and pursuing each available avenue.'

Mm-hm. Dream, plan, achieve, thighs o' glory, blah, blah. Can we borrow that hat?

Alex turned up wearing the exact same dress Victoria Beckham wore to the ESPY's the other week. Why does she insist on constantly recycling things other WAGs have worn? It feels like this is the zillionth times she's done this.

EDIT: And now with video.


source: Alex sees Steven Gerrard in his new strip as he receives honorary fellowship

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HAIR WATCH: PUT YOUR GOOGLE-STALKING SKILLS TO THE TEST

We're not at all ashamed to say that we got all of these right. Also, are we developing some sort of condition or does Crissie's hair look almost passable in that one shot? Probably because you can't see the sticky-outy thing he had going on round the back.



[via the Offside]

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ONE FOR THE VAULT: IF ANYONE SAYS FATTIE FRANK...

[Is that a -- gasp! -- baldspot?]


Love handles? What love handles?

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ABI OUT AND ABOUT ON TUESDAY


Looking fairly casual. If we were going to be picky, we'd say there's a smidge of unnecessary VPL action going on but we all know Abi's no stranger to that sort of thing.
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LADIES LOVE THE CRUTCHES: CRISTIANO'S LATEST HOOCHIE

[This one also looks double CLB's age.]


At this point the only question left is: how many chicks does this guy have on the go?

Niki Ghazian is the latest lady to hop board the Cristiano hoochie-train. The bottle-blond LA model/singer/socialite/general famewhore says she hooked up with Cristiano on the same night he allegedly dissed Paris Hilton at Villa.

From The Dirty:
I walked in and the first thing I saw was a table surrounded by gorgeous women. I mean he (Cristiano) doesn’t even need to hire security because at all times he is surrounded by an impermeable threshold of women. It’s impossible to get near him! Our mutual friend told me it was Cristiano Ronaldo’s table and asked me if I wanted to meet him. He led me through the hoard of girls and introduced me in front of all of them. I could feel all the girls eyes burning into my back as Cristiano asked me to sit down and started chatting with me. We hardly had time to get much of a conversation going before the other girls were trying their hardest to get me away from him. I’ve never been one to start a fight and it really wasn’t a huge deal to me so I said good-bye to him and made my way out of the crowd. I just figured i’d leave him to his slew of women that he would probably take home and have some sort of orgy. (Laughs) I walked over to the bar to join my girlfriends when Paris Hilton walked in and made a beeline for Cristiano’s table. I couldn’t believe the way he treated her! He literally turned his back on her. She looked like a moron and looked around to make sure no one saw her get dissed but everyone did! My girlfriend and I laughed a little and went back to our drinks. Then, before long, the club was nearing closing time and Cristiano got up on his crutches to come over to the bar to talk to me! The first thing I asked him was why he asked Paris to kick rocks. He explained to me that he likes curvy girls with tone and that he found Paris “gross”. We talked for a little longer and made arrangements to head elsewhere after.

Pretty sure that bit was right before he had to excuse himself for his daily all-over body wax. More of Ghazian's interview here. Not sure how much this blog paid her but she could've saved her Cristiano tell-all for NOTW or something. At least then we would've got some sort of brilliant headline like 'Ram Bammed Ron's WAG' out of it.


[Not Lauren Conrad. Cristiano's face matches his jacket.]

As for the Paris Hilton issue, Paris is now making the rounds telling everyone she's never met Ronaldo. Lauren Conrad also felt the burn the other night when he brushed her off after she asked to take a photo with him. According to the Daily Mail, he turned to his friends and snarked, 'Who is this woman?'

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VIDEO: ESPN HAS FUN IN THE T DOT

Toronto: it's like a whole new world! Corn on the cob, excessive streamer-ing and hawks called Bitchy. No sudden movements, Rob!

TIET TMI du Jour: There is something very obnoxious about the term 'T dot.' Anyhow...




[via Awful Announcing]

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

YANKS: DAX MCCARTY REPLACES STURGIS

[Secretly filled with rage.]


New developments with the US Olympic squad: Nate Sturgis broke himself in training and Dax McCarty is being shipped in as the replacement. You may or may not remember Dax from previous posts where we've called him an angry leprechaun boy.

We've yet decided if we'll be supporting the Yanks in Beijing this summer. The fun part about your team hardly ever making it to these sorts of tournaments is that you get to choose which team to support solely based on collective team fine-ness. Some people seem to think Maurice 'I'm a defender now' Edu will be captaining the Yanks -- if so they've already earned some points. More on this topic at a later time, surely.

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ALEX BACK TO WORK, ER, SHOPPING


Don't know about ya'll but that is just about the most stylish garbage bag we've ever seen. And, oh look, Alex is back in Liverpool.
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source: keystone via football_wife

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MAN-FLESH DU JOUR: BECKS AND I ARE, LIKE, BREATHING THE SAME AIR

[Pre-Armani]


Remember the days when David used to wear his underwear a bit looser? A bit normal-style?

Becks is actually in our town for tonight's MLS All-Star Game against West Ham so you'll have to excuse us if our usual non-sense descends into indecipherable 'ZOMGZ!!' drivel today. Unlike ourselves, The Sex played it cool at yesterday's presser: 'It's great, being an east-end boy playing against West Ham so many times for Manchester United and also scoring against West Ham, which didn't go down well with a few friends. It's always nice to play against a quality team.'

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CRISTIANO'S NEW LADY ALSO CLAIMS TO LIKE DRESSING 'A LITTLE LIKE A MAN'

[She actually borrowed that dress from her brother. What? You don't have one of those?]


Ronaldo's new lady, 30-year-old Italian model Letizia Filippi, in the Daily Star today:
"I like educated men who are nice and at the same time a little jealous because I adore feeling loved,” she said. “He must say: ‘Everyone is looking at you,’ even if it’s not true, so I know he is deeply in love with me.

Well, the 'educated' bit has gone out the window but who needs education when you've got loads of moolah and spare time to fry yourself crispy? She may also have trouble with the second part as Cristiano probably makes the same demands.

More from Madame Filippi here should you feel the need. [EDIT: Including the bit where she seems to think wearing pants and a white shirt constitutes dressing like a dude.]

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UNSOLVED MYSTERIES: BAKARY KONE

[Time to ship us off to the funny farm?]


Bakary Kone just made the switch from Nice to Marseille and we've been feeling some very obscure emotions since. The fellow is all of four feet tall so can anyone tell us why the hottie vibes seem to be emerging here? Extremely bizarre; makes no sense at all. Call it a one off -- a TIET confession.

Also spotted: A clearer view of Cisse's worrisome hair. The toned down 'do makes him look almost ordinary. Depressing. Someone toss him a red pimp-suit.

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ONE FOR THE VAULT: RIISE SETTLING IN NICELY AT ROMA


Is also unbelievably cool and doesn't look dorky in the least.

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

NEREIDA STILL IN MALLORCA, ATTEMPTS TO ATTACK MAN

[Congratulations sir, you've just contracted cat AIDS.]


That doesn't look voluntary. There's also a serious possibility that she doesn't know who this man is. Suppose the message we're all supposed to take away from this particular Nereida photo op is: 'I'm moving on.'
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source: Anything you can do: Ronaldo surrounded by more bikini-clad women as ex Nereida kisses new man

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posted by TIET at 7:50 PM, | EmailThis! |  Permalink | 3 comments

HAIR WATCH: BARZAGLI, BEHRAMI



TIET stalk-ee, Andrea Barzagli, joined up with German side we care not about, Wolfsburg, last week. Despite suggestions to the contrary, it is actually perfectly normal to imagine what Andrea's hair smells like (strawberries, we've decided). It is also perfectly okay to imagine what his silky hair would feel like against your fingertips (like touching a butterfly's velvety wings, we've determined).

Ahem.


[No one is smiling, Behrami.]


Swiss dude who showed up to Euro after he let a 4-year-old highlight his hair has just signed on with West Ham for £5m. Remember him? His name is Valon Behrami or something -- we're sticking with 'Swiss dude with really bad hair.'

Football-wise, he's actually quite promising. When we weren't gawking at his hair during Euro, we remember him putting in a few good moves for Switzerland.

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posted by TIET at 5:28 PM, | EmailThis! |  Permalink | 1 comments

GERMANS ARE HILARIOUS: BAYERN'S KIT UNVEILING - THE MUSICAL

Anyone feel slightly ripped off here? This unveiling would have been heaps better had the PR dudes behind this thing decided to stick a few actual players in there instead of these skinny chicks. A Schweinsteiger/Podolski interpretive dance would've owned this routine.

TIET TMI du Jour: Completely unrelated. Watching The Daily Show last night and Will Ferrell was on wearing a Chelsea shirt. Guess he's an underground fan? [EDIT: Oh, photographic evidence!]




[via Bundesliga Offside]

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MAN-FLESH DU JOUR: TOTTI, ROMA BACK IN TRAINING

[Totti isn't training with the team --he's still working on that knee injury of his. But he's shirtless in this one so it gets to lead the thread. Logical, see?]


Totti's always a pleasant way to start the day.

Roma returned to training in Trigoria this week and Alberto Aquilani decided to come out with this unusual quote as a response to questions about his contract waffling: 'Fans act like fans and they seem to expect the players to act like fans too. But we are professionals and I won’t deny that it makes me happy to see that other clubs want me.' Ah, well, fans who act like fans are just going to luuurve hearing that aren't they, Alberto? How very Adebayor of you!

Also, please see the attached photos of Mexes looking -- dare we say it? -- pensive in Trigoria. Deep thoughts, Phil.
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